Coming to the final weeks of conducting my GA essay among my final 3rd draft which should be the ultimate writing piece thats demonstrates all criterias that I’ve developed through the first few weeks of utilizing both connect and pursell assignments while also connecting it to the metacognitive reading annotations. These assignments have helped me develop critical thinking and self improvement among the work I complete since each activity follows within an order of importance that result in a connections between the overall learning. Revision strategy that helped me evaluate my writing piece and it’s sections of error was the “Power of Process: Self Review of Full-Length Essay Draft” were it showed the progress among the revision strategy circle, as it gave an organized structure among each step needed to complete the final GA paper. With a in depth evaluation among my own work using analysis to examine the elements and structure of my writing with the Introduction paragraph, thesis statement, topic sentences (use of transitional words/sentences) , body paragraphs (quote analysis) and conclusion paragraph that states the audiences understatement and lesson learned upon the message conveyed through the use of genres and it’s conventions. Since reading and critiquing the two student sample GA essays, I’m more aware of the structure of a genre-based rhetorical analysis where it includes genres and conventions to address a discourse community among analyzing rhetorical elements. As it overall purpose is to connect the intended audience with the message that the author is trying to convey, as a learning experience for both the readers and intended audience.
The picture shown above is a visual representaion of the "Process Circle. It helped me revise my own GA essay draft #2 by analyzing and evaluating each section of my writing.
What I learned from giving and receiving feedback from peer review and Professor Delany-Ullman's: Revision Strategy to correct my point of errors
I need to focus on revising the title of my essay because I seem to connect it more to Anzaldua's message.
So inorder not to do that, I must connect it to the theme of my essay while including the use of genres and their conventions I utilized, in order to demonstrate that specific message that’s for the intended audience.
Throughout my essay, I included “experienced voice” as a convention pertaining to academic discourse when it should be utilized among the writing of a memoir.
Instead, I can use Academic discourse for the 2 languages that Anzaldua breaks between the conventions (Spanish and English) . I can demonstrate the tone expected from the languages she chooses, such a formal tone and slang.
I don’t seem to explain the use of metaphor and its purpose to the convention (being more specific).
When using metaphor as a convention among Literacy narratives: Demonstrate her message using metaphor by the use of thematic conventions. Personal experiences with language to express metaphor.
I don’t include the audience prior to the quote analysis in my body paragraph to make further connections.
How does it affect the audience and how do they feel about the conventions demonstrating the development among Anzaldua’s message. Does it provoke anger to the white males (anglo).
Excerpt: (Evidence)
In the beginning of the text, Anzaldua uses metaphorical language to imply that her mothers tongue is being controlled by linguistic borders brought upon Americans, with the injustices of pushing racism on languages from different ethnicity that aren’t English by stating, “ We’re going to have to control your tongue, the dentist says, pulling out all the metal from my mouth. Silver bits plop and tinkle into bassin. My mouth is a motherlode. The dentist is cleaning out my roots” (Anzaldua, 33). The dentist represents the racial oppression that Americans Society puts on native speakers since it shows the dentist eagerness, for wanting to drift her cultural roots away and the language that signifies her identity, by taking her native language away. “Pulling out the metal from my tongue (Anzaldua 33)”. Metal refers as something strong as steel to indicate the strong cultural roots that Anzalda has and the difficulties to taking her native language away with the power of voice she beholds as “My tongue is a motherlode” (Anzaldua 33). Furthermore, the dentist cleans out the root indicating that her cultural beliefs are diminished upon American society, limiting her tongue (native language). As a result of this, it can disconnect the relationship between the persons cultural roots, making them feel unworthy of the language they use for everyday interaction.
This specifically shows a development among my writing skills by incorporating rhetorical elements, where I utilized a convention (metaphorical language) to show how it’s specific genre correlates to the authors message and its impact on the intended audience, with initiating a quote analysis for a source of evidence.
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